Friday, February 03, 2006
i feel damn hurt.
my family dun seemed like a family.
for those ppl who knew.
abt de laptop and stuffs.
how i told u guys i thot it was my sis who hid it.
i just realised de whole family knows where it was but me.
they were hiding it from ME.
all becuz by the time i returned home from work.
like 12 plus. and bathed and stuffs.
i used de laptop till 2 plus.
they find it long.
so they hid it.
from ME ALONE.
nvm.
i asked my mom for permission to use it.
okay she asked my mei to get it.
when i turned it on.
it says it needs pw.
my jie put it in.
ok nvm. i called her for de pw.
she asked my mei to ans.
told her de pw.
cuz she din wanna let me know.
i felt damn hurt.
my own family.
keeping stuffs from me.
de trust aint there.
abby and ele said its for good cause.
ok.
wad about the time my sis punched me.
for fun.
i rmbed once.
we played chinese chess.
she lost. i won.
but she pulled my hair hard.
and asked who won.
i had to say its her.
whenever i try to hit her back.
she hit me back twice HARDER.
i asked b4, "jie.. why u always hit me... u think not pain issit?"
"BECUZ I HAPPY"
if i slap my mei.. she tells my mom and my mom would say, slap her back.
if i'm de one who got slapped.. my mom says "huo gai"
my dad threw a plate at me once.
it shattered.
and cut my arm.
i rmbed it.
it was bleeding.
i still have de scar.
all becuz i din wanna give my mei one wanton.
and my dad loves my mei de most.
i'm beginning to think wad de guy in "xiao hai bu ben 2" said was true.
HOME is just a place for me to sleep in.
my sis wanted a mp3.
my dad got it for her.
my brother wanted de starwars game.
my dad got it for him.
i wanted a new phone.
"why u need to get a new one? u'll probably lost it again."
my sis and mom said that.
i feel damn sad.
maybe abby is right.
family is something that you can rely on for help. when you're really in need, NO family will hesitate to help each other out.
but right now.
my family is treating me like shit.
like as if i dun belong there.
ele told me to go over her house for a few days.
meaning run away from home.
my mom would probably scold me like siao after they found me.
and my dad would hit me till i die.
i think only my mei would understand me.
afterall. she's de closest to me.
she can relate more to me.
she suffered from my jie's beatings too.
maybe its why i'm so chor lor.
HOME is not home to me anymore.
me_________`e-leen *
11:28 PM
